Values and relationship
People have different values and they prioritize their values differently. If a couple has a conflict, maybe they have different values. What is the value? Value can be ‘honesty’, ‘intelligence’, ‘beauty’, ‘wealth’, ‘cleanliness’, … etc. If your partner and you have different values, your girlfriend’s value is ‘cleanliness’, for example, but you are ok with dirty bed, then you both will have conflicts. You need to adapt or compromise to your partner’s value or you separate from one another. That is why in the relationship, it is fine to have conflicts and later having a resolution because some of their values are different.
If you are in the relationship, and you say that I have no problem, that is the real lie. If you are in the relationship and you have problems, that is fine. We just have a different point of view or different value.
Another example is my real wife’s value is ‘husband needs to help her most of the time’. One of her value is ‘having a husband is having someone to help in need, having a helping hand’. If I cannot fulfill with this value, I cannot live with her.
Therefore, please try to understand other people’s values and try to adapt to them. If you cannot adapt to them, or it is contrasted with yours, it depends on you to decide. Sometimes, if you have an option to choose between ‘right’ and ‘kind’, please pick ‘kind’ (Wayne Dyer). But it depends.